Longtime local NOW member and chief keeper of our mailing list and supplier of our labels, Suzanne Antisdel has recently written a book of poems following the death of her husband, Art. She explains her process.
“I began to write poetry soon after Art died, just to keep sane. We were very close; his death was sudden and unexpected (although I think he knew; I was doing a good job of denying); and I was a basket case.
After I looked at all the poetry, I thought long and hard about how to organize the book, and decided against a chronology. Instead, I took my poetry, some of my favorite condolences and some journals. To those I added a bit of narrative. I organized the writing into subjects, like “missing him”, “pets”, “music”, “regrets” (everyone has them…),” drugs”, and several others. Then at the end I added 5 stories from other friends of varied backgrounds who wanted to be included.”
Here are two poems from Suzanne’s book, “Without a Map”.
we had it all
we had it all
didn’t we?
we had that
rare
combination
of two creatures
who loved
to the hilt
without reservation
without threat
or defense
but wholeheartedly
trusting each other
to return
all we gave
and we knew
we knew
we had it
we knew
every second
that you
were the best thing
ever to happen
to me
and I to you
lucky us
task
coming home
from the hospital
that night
I saw
the humidifier
soaking in
vinegar
it took a few minutes
to scrub it
finish the job
hours before
you had been
ripped out of my life
and I was still
bleeding
raw
my guts hanging
from my sides
I didn’t notice
Suzanne is happy to give short readings followed by long discussions on topics inspired by the readings.
